How To Determine Who To Marry - Pastor John K. Jenkins Sr.

Excerpts (Paraphrased)

Things you should check before going ahead with marrying someone;

Is the person?

- Born again

- Committed to a local church

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- Do you have both set of Parents' blessings?

- Have you heard from God? (Ask God for a sign)

- You need to have a determination on your decision on marrying someone that has been already married. (Matt 19:1-12, Mark 10:11,12, Mal 2:15,16, 1 Cor 7:10-17)

C-Checks to Carry out Before Marriage

Things you shouldn't base your decision of who to marry on;

[i.] Cars they drive.

[ii.] Curves they have.

[iii.] Countenance or cuteness - Learn to look beyond what the external features look like; rather, value what they have inside.

[iv.] Cash - How much they have.
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Things you should base your decision of who to marry on;

[i.] Compatibility - Common interests you both enjoy and like to do together and whether you generally get along well, quite easily.

[ii.] Character - "I'm a people person and have dealt with human issues as a Pastor for more than 20 years in counselling so I can speak from experience ...by and large people don't change." They will be the same after you get married to them. (If they don't respect authority, are mean, cruel to parents, lie etc. before marriage; they'll do the same after). Sex before marriage will blind you to a person's true character.

[iii.] Competence - The ability to practice some skills. Marriage is skills-based. Ask yourself if the person has the skills to be married.

[iv.] Communication - Do they listen or run their mouth all the time? Do they tell you what is bothering them? A big part of marriage is communication.

[v.] Children - How many does the person really have? (before marriage) How many children do you both want to have? (discuss this together and agree before getting married)

[vi.] Cash management - Can they manage cash? When you get married to someone you are joining their assets and liabilities to your own. So if they are in debt; you will inherit it once the two of you get married.

[vii.] Continence - Self-control. Can you sexually control your self? When you get married, it is not going to be sex all the time. There are seasons in a marriage where sex is off-limits. The greatest gift a man can give to his fiancée is to demonstrate that he has self-control.

[viii.] Cooking and cleaning - Determine your life partner on whether she can cook and clean. If she didn't cook/keep her room clean before she got married, she won't do it after (Proverbs 31) It is assumed & hoped that men would have learned these two skills as well before marriage..

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