Sunday 11 February 2018

Preparing For Marriage: Bishop David Abioye


The marriage you don't prepare for will confuse you. People take time to prepare for everything. Some spend 7 years in the University preparing for success in their careers but think they just need to find a partner and march down the altar to be joined together. 


It is your preparation that determines your experience. You don't prepare 'in' marriage, you prepare 'for' marriage. You don't learn how to shoot a gun on the battlefield, you learn before the battle begins.

You are not at all disadvantaged if you are single. Many people don't understand what it means to be a single so they are in a hurry to get out of the single stage and get married.

Life is in phases and men are in sizes. Every phase in life prepares you for the next one; and being a single is a necessary phase that prepares you for marriage. 

1.) Aquire Knowledge/Read/Study on the Subject of Marriage: You must ensure you are adequately knowledgeable about marriage long before engagement. At Winner's Chapel (the name of the Church), we counsel and expect singles to read at least 15 books on the subject of marriage before getting engaged.

 Many times in scripture, Jesus said have you not read (Matthew 19:4)? Many people rush into marriage without even knowing what they are getting into. When you read, you will understand what marriage is all about. Marriage is all about meeting needs, not taking advantage of or oppressing one another (Gen 2:18). 

When you read, you will learn about the basic gender differences. It takes knowledge to understand the reason men & women behave differently from each other. If you don't understand this, you will have difficulty in your marriage (1Peter 3:7).

2.) Develop Quality Relationship with God (Job 22:21): When you have one you will not be under pressure or tossed to and fro by circumstances; irrespective of your age.

 When you have a relationship with God and the person you are about to marry jilts you; you will turn around and give glory to God knowing He is about to do a new thing in your life. But when you don't have a relationship with God and something like that happens, your whole life can be shattered. 

For everyone that said no to you there are up to a thousand ready to say yes. Some broken engagements are deliverances in disguise.

3.) Discover God's Purpose for your Life: You are not a biological accident but are here to fulfill a definite assignment. Someone once said, when you don't know where you're going anyone is free to direct you. 

So take time as a single to find out God's plan/purpose for you (Jeremiah 1:5). God has an assignment for you. You're not a non-entity; you are here to fulfil destiny (Romans 8:29, Ephesians 2:10, Ecclesiastes 6:10). Find out God's purpose for your life & it will help you in your choice of a partner.

4.) Cultivate Quality Character: It is character that sustains beauty. It is character that sustains destiny. It is character that sustains marriage. Find out negative traits in you capable of destroying your marriage and do something about them while single. If not it can destroy a marriage of many years in one night. Ideal character can be called godliness. 

Character is like smoke; you can't hide it. When pressure comes it will show up. Self control is part of the fruit of the spirit. You have a self that needs to be controlled and God put you in charge of doing so. Whatever can't be controlled has become demonic.

5.) Take Care of your Outward Appearance: Don't reach the point where you don't bother to brush your teeth anymore because of so called 'spirituality' (Some people sometimes brush their teeth alone, not knowing the tongue is where the smell of bad breath comes from the most). 

The Bible says 'you have been bought with a price; glorify God in your mortal bodies'. Dressing - take time to learn about color combination. Dress smartly, let your dressing be making a statement all the time (Money is  no excuse as you can find your size somewhere out there). 

As a woman; learn to walk, talk & sit, like a lady. Don't do these things like a man because no man wants to marry another man.

6.) Learn to be Domesticated: Particularly sisters; learn to cook. To be married and your husband is eating from the bukkah is an insult on your personality. The way into a man's heart is through the stomach. Learn to give your husband different delicacies. By the time somebody starts cooking for your husband outside; get ready.. the person will soon steal your husband.


Prayer
1.) Father thank you for the gift of singleness. Lord I don't want to make a ship wreck of my marriage. I don't want to miss it in my marriage. I want my marriage to be a heaven on Earth. I receive grace from you to begin to prepare myself in the name of Jesus.

2.) Every grace I require to make the most of my days as a single, I receive that grace from you right now in the name of Jesus.

3.) I come against every slothfulness, every carelessness, every laziness, every nonchalant attitude, everything that wants me to be in a hurry; that does not want me to pay attention to the things that are important in the name of Jesus.

4.) Lord I take grace from you today; grace to acquire knowledge, to develop quality relationship with you, to discover your purpose for my life, to cultivate quality character, to take care of my outward appearance, and to learn to be domesticated in the name of Jesus.

5.) I will not regret over my marriage, my marriage will not fail in the name of Jesus.

6.) God grant me grace for adequate level of preparation to make my marriage what you have ordained it to be in the name of Jesus

7.) I receive inner strength and courage of heart to deal with every character failure I have in the name of Jesus

8.) I receive grace to open up my heart and life before you; to allow you to touch me in every area of my life where I require your touch; in the name of Jesus.


9.) Thank you Almighty God.





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