Marriage doesn't stop you from facing the issues relating to sex.
Ten (10) things nobody tells you about sex
1. It's not just sex - it's bigger than just a physical connection 1Cor 6:16 (MSG Version) during sex, beyond the physical connection there is a spiritual and emotional (soul) connection everytime.
Sex is not just the joining of two bodies but also the joining of two spirits and the joining of two souls.
The real joining between a man and a woman is not the wedding but is the sexual intercourse.
The sexual intercourse initiates the bonding of two people as they become one.
Sex is a spiritual mystery which if done with more than one person fragments the soul and causes the bond between the person and their eventual life partner to not be as deep as it could have been (e.g. A sticky note being pasted on multiple sites will not be as strong on its final point of placement and will have pieces of various places it was pasted, on it). That is what we call soul ties.
Scientists have found out that when you have a deep connection with someone especially sexually, your brain still reacts to that person forever.
When you have intercourse with someone there is a part of you in that person and a part of that person in you forever.
A lot of dissatisfaction or infidelity married couples face is tied to their ex.
It is possible to leave someone physically and not forsake them emotionally.
It is also possible to be with someone physically and forsake them emotionally.
Sex is more than mere skin to skin. It is as much a spiritual mystery as it is a physical fact.
Sex is supposed to be the official joining of a man and a woman in marriage.
Anything outside of that will be counter productive on the long run.
2. All sex is bad if it's outside marriage - Almost everybody believes that adultery is bad, however the same people also believe if you're single you're free to have sex outside marriage.
That cannot work because the same people that are single will also become married. In other words that lifestyle will be there. Marriage doesn't change you - "a lizard that is single will not become an alligator in marriage."
If you're fornicating you are building the lifestyle that taking what isn't yours is okay and that lifestyle will not stop in marriage which is why adultery happens.
Most times when you see adultery in marriage, there is a foundation of fornication.
3. It's not just once - once you cross the line of having sex it's a whole new world after that. Sexual addiction is a big deal.
Sexual addiction always starts with 'one time.'
Scientifically it has been proven that the pleasure you get during sex can be as high as that of drugs.
There is nothing like the bonding you would have with your husband or your wife. Don't let anyone pressure you into premarital sex.
Don't lay a foundation that you don't want to build on in marriage. Don't lay a foundation of taking what is not your own (fornication, adultery etc).
Don't lay a foundation of lack of self control, impatience, lack of boundaries.
You can't lay a foundation of these negative things outside marriage and want to build positive things in marriage. It doesn't work like that.
Galatians 5:19 shows that fornication and adultery are categorised in the same bracket.
4. We CAN'T check for sexual compatibility
Compatibility is not something that's discovered it's something that's developed.
5. It hurts everyone Around puberty when kids are not properly educated on the peaking of male and female hormones (testosterone and progesterone), boys trade love to get sex and girls trade sex to get love. This leads to everyone being hurt through broken relationships, the effect of which can be taken into adulthood up to marriage.
Hurts relationships i.e. you sleep with someone and break the relationship then when you're ready to marry you find out that his or her cousin is your son to be spouse.
It also causes STDs & unwanted pregnancies.
6. You are not the only one - Most people that indulge in immorality are usually involved with more than one person
7. Everyone is NOT doing it - there are many people who are virgins and that stay that way until marriage, contrary to popular belief.
If you're no longer a virgin you can start now to keep yourself chaste till marriage.
This is a form of discipline that helps you enjoy sex better within the actual union of marriage.
8. Celibacy doesn't start from the body - when God talks about sexual purity, He's not talking about your body alone. It also includes your mind.
God doesn't order celibacy to keep you from having fun but to keep you whole and protect you for where you are going.
Saying you will remain celibate is not just about keeping yourself physically, but also about protecting your mind.
Your mind is your most powerful sexual organ.
Put positive things (God's word ) in your mind and build up your spiritual life to the point that you can control your sexual urges.
This doesn't mean you'll never slip or be tempted but it's about knowing to guard your mind (Proverbs 4v23).
Your matters of life are controlled by what's going on inside you.
Cut off contact with people you need to cut off contact with.
Censor the things you watch, the pages you follow, the movies you watch.
You can't keep watching things that have heavy sexual content and you want to live a sexually pure life.
9. Sex is not love
Love is more exhibited by self control than by lack of self control.
Sex doesn't build intimacy, it is intimacy that builds sex. It's best to remove sex from the table and get to know the person before marriage rather than the other way round.
10. Sex is not good, it is great - Sex is great. It helps couples bond and brings children. But, if it is abused or perverted it can be a challenge.
Marriage is way beyond sex. In marriage you find out that you don't have sex that often.
You don't stop sinning to grow spiritually, you grow spiritually to stop sinning.
Jesus says come as you are. He doesn't want you to change before you come. He wants you to come so you are changed.
The abuse of sex can have long lasting impact in your life and even in that of your children.
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