7 Mistakes Single Ladies Make
1.) Being too available. Manage the gift of your presence (Proverbs 27:7).
Wisdom points
- Have a life of your own (hobbies, passion etc).
- Don't insist on talking every time.
- Be disciplined & remember what you want. Restrain yourself from reaching out every day.
2.) Not defining relationships
Wisdom points
- Be ready to walk away
- Say what you expect from the relationship
- Set and agree on clear timelines
3.) Giving too much too soon (e.g. time, money, sex)
Wisdom points
- Decide what your boundaries are and stick to them
- Declare them to whom and when necessary
4.) Throwing away other vital relationships
Wisdom points
- Identify the vital non-romantic relationships in your life that existed before the person came.
- Make plans to nurture these relationships
- Watch for any intentions from your lover to isolate you from other vital relationships in your life (most abusive partners start by trying to do this).
- Note the relationships in your life that should end now that this person has come in (e.g. platonic relationship with your ex-partner)
5.) Not building yourself. Develop yourself beyond your looks (Proverbs 11:22)
Areas to develop yourself in
Spiritually, financially, mentally, physically, socially, emotionally (character), domestically (For women to be given breasts I believe God was pointing in a certain direction about their design.
Even if you don't want to cook for your husband and think he's a useless man, what about the children?)
Wisdom points
- List the areas you need to develop
- Come up with a simple plan to develop those areas
- Get a mentor
- Choose your friends strategically (you are usually no greater than the company you keep).
6.) Confusing the ideal with reality. Confusing what you feel should obtain with what is the reality and, what is possible (E.g if he doesn't have a net-worth of three million, I can't be in a relationship with him; whereas the man is intelligent, hardworking and focused and will probably have that net-worth two years down the line.
Wisdom points
- What is the ideal and what is the possible reality? Make a mental note
- Ask yourself "How can I help him create my ideal?"
7.) Ignoring patterns (Patterns don't lie)
Questions to ask yourself
- Is he always broke, begging, or borrowing?
- Does he show signs of violence?
- Is he proud and listens to no one?
- Is he domineering and always sees himself as right even when wrong?
- Is he always living above his means?
- Is he lazy or too laid back about life?
- Does he show signs of extreme verbal or emotional abuse?
Wisdom points
- Watch out for and notice patterns even while both of you are initially just friends.
- Ask yourself if you can live with the things you notice
- Get counselling when you see patterns you are unsure of.
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