Anointed Book Summary: The Act of Marriage Tim & Beverly La Haye
Chapter summaries
Chapter 1: The Sanctity of S*x
This chapter sets out to convince the reader that s*x is holy and sacred, not dirty—an attitude they have found to be prevalent among the couples they have counseled.
They cite several examples in both the Old Testament and New Testament where intimate behavior between married persons is commended.
Chapter 2: What Lovemaking Means to a Man
In this chapter the authors set out five benefits that men derive from intimacy with their wives:
1. It satisfies his s*x drive, which is usually greater than his wife's.
2. It boosts his self-image.
4. It calms him down and makes him less prone to find fault with his family.
5. It provides one of the most exciting experiences of his life.
Overall, the chapter is concerned with convincing wives that it is okay for their husbands to want to have s*x with them.
Chapter 3: What Lovemaking Means to a Woman
In this chapter the authors set out five benefits that women derive from intimacy with their husbands.
1. It fulfills her sense of womanhood.
2. It reassures her of her husband's love. They point out that a woman needs to feel companionship love, compassionate love, romantic love, and affectionate love from her husband before she will feel ready to accept passionate love.
3. It satisfies her s*x drive.
4. It helps her to relax and to not be high-strung.
5. It is the ultimate experience when properly done.
Overall, the chapter is concerned with convincing husbands that women can and need to be s*xually satisfied, too.
Chapter 4: Why God Created S*x
In this chapter the authors present five reasons that God created s*x, in spite of how it is misused by many.
1. It is needed to propagate the human race.
2. It provides a married couple the means to give mutual pleasure.
3. It allows spouses to be fulfilled with each other and to be less tempted by other s*xual opportunities.
4. The husband will have claim over his wife and the wife will have claim over her husband.
5. It creates a unique union and method of communication between two people that cannot be shared with anyone else.
Overall, the chapter is concerned with convincing couples that s*x is a blessing from God, but that it should only be experienced within the bonds of marriage.
Chapter 5: S*x Education
This chapter explains the male and female s*x organs and how they respond to s*xual stimulation. Some counsel is given on how to avoid or reduce pain when breaking the hymen. Emphasis is placed on the cl*toris as the seat of the female org*sm. The differences between male and female org*sms are also outlined.
Chapter 6: The Art of Lovemaking
This chapter outlines the basic steps taken during a lovemaking session. It includes preparations that should be taken, foreplay, the act itself, and the "afterglow" that follows completion of the act. They stress the importance of the husband waiting until his wife is fully aroused before entering her vag*na and proceeding to org*sm.
They recommend that a couple use their honeymoon for experimentation so that they can best learn how to please their partner. The importance of cl*toral stimulation to achieve female org*sm is again stressed. Male and female s*xual responses are again compared and a brief discussion of positions is given.
Chapter 7: For Men Only
This chapter gives eleven suggestions on how men can satisfy their wives.
1. Educate yourself on the female anatomy.
2. Learn to control your ej*culation so it does not happen prematurely.
3. Concentrate on the woman's satisfaction, not your own.
4. Remember what arouses a woman (companionship, compassionate, romantic, and affectionate love).
5. Control your temper.
6. Avoid the use of crude words.
7. Avoid speaking of private matters with friends and colleagues.
8. Avoid smelling bad.
9. Avoid rushing the act.
10. Have open communication with your wife.
11. Love your wife as a person.
Chapter 8: For Women Only
This chapter gives nine suggestions on how women can satisfy their husbands and achieve satisfaction themselves during the s*x act.
1. Keep a positive mental attitude. This is broken down into three parts: have a positive attitude about s*x, a positive attitude about yourself, and a positive attitude about your husband.
2. Recognize that many inhibitions need to be abandoned in the bedroom.
3. Remember that your husband is stimulated by sight.
4. Avoid nagging, criticizing, or ridiculing your husband.
5. Remember that while you may not be in the mood for s*xual relations when your husband makes advances, you are capable of responding and "getting into the mood."
6. Keep your feminine parts clean.
7. Communicate with your husband and tell him what pleases you.
8. Pray and ask God for help in achieving s*xual satisfaction.
Chapter 9: The Unfulfilled Woman
This chapter declares that many wives are not as satisfied by s*xual encounters as they could be because they fail to achieve org*sm. Eleven reasons are given why women might experience dissatisfaction with s*x and suggestions are given on how to overcome those problems.
1. Ignorance on both her part and her husband's part on how to achieve cl*toral org*sm.
2. Feelings of hate or hostility towards someone else, especially her husband.
3. Feelings of guilt, especially those brought on by premarital s*x premarital or extramarital indiscretions.
4. Fear that she will not be able to be satisfied or satisfy her husband.
5. Being too passive during the act.
6. A husband who ej*culates before she has climaxed.
7. Fatigue.
8. Illness.
9. Being overweight.
10. Being unwilling to surrender herself to her husband.
11. Having weak v*ginal muscles.
Chapter 10: The Key to the Feminine Response
This chapter explains how Dr. Arnold H. Kegel started training women to exercise their pubococcygeus muscle in order to curb postpartum incontinence. It was discovered that a side effect of this exercise was to improve women's ability to experience org*sm. The authors recommend an exercise regimen for women seeking to improve their s*xual response.
Chapter 11: The Impotent Man
This chapter gives nineteen reasons why husbands may experience inability to maintain an erection or ej*culate and gives suggestions on how to overcome those problems.
1. The onset of age: they will lose vital energy as they get older.
2. Feelings of hate or hostility towards someone else, especially his wife.
3. Fear (of rejection, of being unable to satisfy his wife, of being compared with other men, of failure to maintain erecti*n or to ej*culate).
4. Ridicule from his wife.
5. Feelings of guilt, especially those brought on by premarital or extramarital indiscretions.
6. Having unreasonable expectations about how he will be able to perform as his age increases.
7. Obesity.
8. Poor physical fitness.
9. Heavy smoking.
10. Mental pressure from outside concerns.
11. Depression.
12. Drugs and alcohol.
13. M*sturbation.
14. If his wife has weak v*ginal muscles.
15. A wife who is too passive during the act.
16. Nagging from his wife.
17. A dominating wife.
18. Premature ej*culation.
19. Retarded ej*culation.
Chapter 12: Sane Family Planning
The authors express their belief that a husband and wife should produce as many children as they can reasonably manage and deplore several reasons some give for avoiding parenthood.
They counter with several reasons why parents should seek to have and raise children. They then give suggestions for contraception that they believe are appropriate for Christians (because they are not abortifacient). They recommend, in order of reliability, birth control pills, condoms, diaphragms, v*ginal foam, the rhythm method, and coitus interruptus.
They recommend against permanent methods, such as vasectomy and having tubes tied.
Chapter 13: S*x Survey Report
The authors report the results of a survey they conducted. Their intent is to show that:
a.) Christians have more fulfilling s*x lives than their non-Christian counterparts and
b.) Christians don't have the Victorian attitudes about s*x that they are stereotyped as having.
Chapter 14: The Missing Dimension
In this chapter the authors advocate that the most important element to a satisfying s*x life and a satisfying life overall is to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. They advocate a Christian lifestyle and suggest that a shared belief in Christ will help a couple overcome incompatibilities.
Chapter 15: Practical Answers to Common Questions
In this chapter, the authors field questions on a variety of topics, including abortion , adultery, birth control, communication, counseling, dating, fantasy, fornication, free love, homos*xuality, m*sturbation, menopause, oral s*x, petting, privacy, "September s*x", etc.
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Chapter summaries
Chapter 1: The Sanctity of S*x
This chapter sets out to convince the reader that s*x is holy and sacred, not dirty—an attitude they have found to be prevalent among the couples they have counseled.
They cite several examples in both the Old Testament and New Testament where intimate behavior between married persons is commended.
Chapter 2: What Lovemaking Means to a Man
In this chapter the authors set out five benefits that men derive from intimacy with their wives:
1. It satisfies his s*x drive, which is usually greater than his wife's.
2. It boosts his self-image.
3. It increases the love he feels for his wife and makes it less likely that he will engage in extramarital affairs.
5. It provides one of the most exciting experiences of his life.
Overall, the chapter is concerned with convincing wives that it is okay for their husbands to want to have s*x with them.
Chapter 3: What Lovemaking Means to a Woman
In this chapter the authors set out five benefits that women derive from intimacy with their husbands.
1. It fulfills her sense of womanhood.
2. It reassures her of her husband's love. They point out that a woman needs to feel companionship love, compassionate love, romantic love, and affectionate love from her husband before she will feel ready to accept passionate love.
3. It satisfies her s*x drive.
4. It helps her to relax and to not be high-strung.
5. It is the ultimate experience when properly done.
Overall, the chapter is concerned with convincing husbands that women can and need to be s*xually satisfied, too.
Chapter 4: Why God Created S*x
In this chapter the authors present five reasons that God created s*x, in spite of how it is misused by many.
1. It is needed to propagate the human race.
2. It provides a married couple the means to give mutual pleasure.
3. It allows spouses to be fulfilled with each other and to be less tempted by other s*xual opportunities.
4. The husband will have claim over his wife and the wife will have claim over her husband.
5. It creates a unique union and method of communication between two people that cannot be shared with anyone else.
Overall, the chapter is concerned with convincing couples that s*x is a blessing from God, but that it should only be experienced within the bonds of marriage.
Chapter 5: S*x Education
This chapter explains the male and female s*x organs and how they respond to s*xual stimulation. Some counsel is given on how to avoid or reduce pain when breaking the hymen. Emphasis is placed on the cl*toris as the seat of the female org*sm. The differences between male and female org*sms are also outlined.
Chapter 6: The Art of Lovemaking
This chapter outlines the basic steps taken during a lovemaking session. It includes preparations that should be taken, foreplay, the act itself, and the "afterglow" that follows completion of the act. They stress the importance of the husband waiting until his wife is fully aroused before entering her vag*na and proceeding to org*sm.
They recommend that a couple use their honeymoon for experimentation so that they can best learn how to please their partner. The importance of cl*toral stimulation to achieve female org*sm is again stressed. Male and female s*xual responses are again compared and a brief discussion of positions is given.
Chapter 7: For Men Only
This chapter gives eleven suggestions on how men can satisfy their wives.
1. Educate yourself on the female anatomy.
2. Learn to control your ej*culation so it does not happen prematurely.
3. Concentrate on the woman's satisfaction, not your own.
4. Remember what arouses a woman (companionship, compassionate, romantic, and affectionate love).
5. Control your temper.
6. Avoid the use of crude words.
7. Avoid speaking of private matters with friends and colleagues.
8. Avoid smelling bad.
9. Avoid rushing the act.
10. Have open communication with your wife.
11. Love your wife as a person.
Chapter 8: For Women Only
This chapter gives nine suggestions on how women can satisfy their husbands and achieve satisfaction themselves during the s*x act.
1. Keep a positive mental attitude. This is broken down into three parts: have a positive attitude about s*x, a positive attitude about yourself, and a positive attitude about your husband.
2. Recognize that many inhibitions need to be abandoned in the bedroom.
3. Remember that your husband is stimulated by sight.
4. Avoid nagging, criticizing, or ridiculing your husband.
5. Remember that while you may not be in the mood for s*xual relations when your husband makes advances, you are capable of responding and "getting into the mood."
6. Keep your feminine parts clean.
7. Communicate with your husband and tell him what pleases you.
8. Pray and ask God for help in achieving s*xual satisfaction.
Chapter 9: The Unfulfilled Woman
This chapter declares that many wives are not as satisfied by s*xual encounters as they could be because they fail to achieve org*sm. Eleven reasons are given why women might experience dissatisfaction with s*x and suggestions are given on how to overcome those problems.
1. Ignorance on both her part and her husband's part on how to achieve cl*toral org*sm.
2. Feelings of hate or hostility towards someone else, especially her husband.
3. Feelings of guilt, especially those brought on by premarital s*x premarital or extramarital indiscretions.
4. Fear that she will not be able to be satisfied or satisfy her husband.
5. Being too passive during the act.
6. A husband who ej*culates before she has climaxed.
7. Fatigue.
8. Illness.
9. Being overweight.
10. Being unwilling to surrender herself to her husband.
11. Having weak v*ginal muscles.
Chapter 10: The Key to the Feminine Response
This chapter explains how Dr. Arnold H. Kegel started training women to exercise their pubococcygeus muscle in order to curb postpartum incontinence. It was discovered that a side effect of this exercise was to improve women's ability to experience org*sm. The authors recommend an exercise regimen for women seeking to improve their s*xual response.
Chapter 11: The Impotent Man
This chapter gives nineteen reasons why husbands may experience inability to maintain an erection or ej*culate and gives suggestions on how to overcome those problems.
1. The onset of age: they will lose vital energy as they get older.
2. Feelings of hate or hostility towards someone else, especially his wife.
3. Fear (of rejection, of being unable to satisfy his wife, of being compared with other men, of failure to maintain erecti*n or to ej*culate).
4. Ridicule from his wife.
5. Feelings of guilt, especially those brought on by premarital or extramarital indiscretions.
6. Having unreasonable expectations about how he will be able to perform as his age increases.
7. Obesity.
8. Poor physical fitness.
9. Heavy smoking.
10. Mental pressure from outside concerns.
11. Depression.
12. Drugs and alcohol.
13. M*sturbation.
14. If his wife has weak v*ginal muscles.
15. A wife who is too passive during the act.
16. Nagging from his wife.
17. A dominating wife.
18. Premature ej*culation.
19. Retarded ej*culation.
Chapter 12: Sane Family Planning
The authors express their belief that a husband and wife should produce as many children as they can reasonably manage and deplore several reasons some give for avoiding parenthood.
They counter with several reasons why parents should seek to have and raise children. They then give suggestions for contraception that they believe are appropriate for Christians (because they are not abortifacient). They recommend, in order of reliability, birth control pills, condoms, diaphragms, v*ginal foam, the rhythm method, and coitus interruptus.
They recommend against permanent methods, such as vasectomy and having tubes tied.
Chapter 13: S*x Survey Report
The authors report the results of a survey they conducted. Their intent is to show that:
a.) Christians have more fulfilling s*x lives than their non-Christian counterparts and
b.) Christians don't have the Victorian attitudes about s*x that they are stereotyped as having.
Chapter 14: The Missing Dimension
In this chapter the authors advocate that the most important element to a satisfying s*x life and a satisfying life overall is to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. They advocate a Christian lifestyle and suggest that a shared belief in Christ will help a couple overcome incompatibilities.
Chapter 15: Practical Answers to Common Questions
In this chapter, the authors field questions on a variety of topics, including abortion , adultery, birth control, communication, counseling, dating, fantasy, fornication, free love, homos*xuality, m*sturbation, menopause, oral s*x, petting, privacy, "September s*x", etc.
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