Excerpts
Hard facts about marriage
1) There is no perfect marriage
2) The family that prays together stay together
3) Disagreements can be solved without argument. You can discuss instead as argument is a sign of ignorance while discussion is a sign of knowledge
4) To apologize is a sign of maturity and strength. Once you find someone who finds it difficult to say I'm sorry or always sees themselves as right, take your bags and run!
5) Be aware that you are marrying into a family
6) Intelligent partners have a solid financial plan. You may not have all the money to start with but you should have a joint plan
7) There is a strong relationship between collective captivity (i.e. generational inherited problem, like father like son, like mother like daughter syndrome) and marriage
8) Ensure that you establish your own private home (Gen 2:24)
9) Marriages do not just happen, they must be developed and the development period is courtship
10) Never go to bed while being angry with each other or the devil will be your bed fellow
11) Criticism and nagging destroy love
12) Never try to force personality changes in your partner. Only God can change a person
13) The right thing at the wrong time is still wrong. It is during courtship that you decide what is right
14) A healthy and pure courtship is the foundation for a marriage that is heaven on earth.
Laws of Courtship
Courtship is the period between agreeing to marry and the wedding. Because Isaac did not court Rebecca, the partners didn't understand each other well which led to division of the family - Mother took Jacob, Father took Esau. Solomon and Samson are two other examples of biblical characters that did not court. Courtship is non-negotiable,
Courtship is a time;
1) To lay solid foundation for your marriage
2) Of getting to know each other very well
3) A time for spiritual fine tuning - to pursue and get whatever is absent in both of your spiritual lives
4) For exhortation and marital counselling - a small holiday for you to run fast and gather strength
5) For planning about the future
6) Of discovery - where you find out your common and divergent areas eg. One person comes from a family where meat is served after eating while the other comes from a family where it is opposite
7) Of examination...
8) For mutual praying - i.e. praying together. The awesomeness of the power of prayer is still not clear to the modern man. Prayer is the greatest energy on earth. Bible says men always ought to pray and not faint, it doesn't say men always ought to preach or be wise, or teach or evangelize and not faint.
The more you pray together during courtship the happier your marriage will be. To reach deeper levels of prayer and become a spiritual strongman you can pray for one hour and go back to bed when you awake early in the morning anytime between 12-3 am.
You find that prayer warriors don't have any problems in this area of marriage i.e finding a partner
9) A time for laying a strong family altar - Joint prayer, bible study, fellowship etc.
10) A time to 'fight’ - You must demonstrate the ability to disagree and settle
11) For preparation of the wedding
12) For preparation of the home for marriage
Laws of Courtship
1) Courtship must only begin after you have discovered the will of God in marriage. Marrying because of beauty is like buying a house because of fine paint. Move close to God so He can speak to you. Don't start courtship until God has spoken to you.
2) Someone in authority over you e.g your Pastor/Parents must be aware of your courtship intention - don't do secret courtship
3) Do not do anything in the secrecy of your room or any other hidden corner
4) Avoid sex completely and this includes any form of body contact that can fire up lust inside of you. Every act of sex done before marriage lays a terrible foundation of the marriage coming as you are breaking the law of heaven. All the information heaven is supposed to show you about the family you are going into etc will be blocked from your spiritual eye
5) Withdraw from the relationship immediately you discover it is not God's will. Be courageous enough, don't blindly go on.
6) Live a pure and transparent life of integrity
7) Do not pretend in courtship - be yourself, let your partner know the real you. Pretense is dangerous
8) Don't double date (i.e. seeing more than one person at the same time)
9) Do not begin to wear the same attire; you are not married yet
10) Sisters should not turn themselves to cooks or drycleaners for the guy they are courting
11) Never co-habitate (i.e. live together with opposite sex while unmarried). It is annoying to God
Prayer Points
1) Oh God my Father empower me to succeed
2) Any power that says my wedding bells will not ring die by fire in the name of Jesus
3) Ancestral wall of Jericho blocking my marriage, scatter in the name of Jesus
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