Rick Warren - Escaping the People Pleaser Trap
Excerpts
- You do need the approval of others in your life. You just don’t need it to dominate your life.
- There’s nothing wrong with wanting to please others (regard for other people) as you need a certain amount of approval in your life.
- If you have no need for approval from other people, you are a sociopath/narcissist.
- It is only the misuse of this need for approval that is a problem.
1) It causes me to miss God’s purpose for my life. God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life but others have a wonderful plan for your life that is not God’s will so you must avoid being trapped in this because of wanting to please others (1 Thessalonians 2:4).
2) It keeps you from growing in your faith. When God is big in our lives, people have less power / influence in our lives.
When we allow people to be big we diminish God’s influence in our life.
Ask yourself: who’s opinion matters to me?/ who do I trust more? God or people? (John 5:44, Proverbs 29:25)
When we allow people to be big we diminish God’s influence in our life.
Ask yourself: who’s opinion matters to me?/ who do I trust more? God or people? (John 5:44, Proverbs 29:25)
3) It leads me to sin (giving in-to peer pressure) - Exodus 23:2
4) It causes hypocrisy in our lives and when this invades our lives we start to wear masks which becomes exhausting (trying to figure out which mask to wear for which people) Luke 16:15.
God wants us to be congruent. Fear of disapproval can cause us to compromise. Integrity is more important than popularity (2Cor 10:18)
God wants us to be congruent. Fear of disapproval can cause us to compromise. Integrity is more important than popularity (2Cor 10:18)
5) It silences your witness i.e. ability to share simple truths of who Jesus is and how he has changed your life (John 9, John 7:12-13)
Antidote to People-Pleasing - Solutions
1) Even God can’t please everybody - many people are currently praying for opposing outcomes to the same event.
Fear of conflict and rejection fuels people pleasing.
The way to change your life is to change your mind by renewing it.
The Bible says ‘’Woe to you if every man speaks well of you.’’
Fear of conflict and rejection fuels people pleasing.
The way to change your life is to change your mind by renewing it.
The Bible says ‘’Woe to you if every man speaks well of you.’’
2) Realize you do not need anybody’s approval to be happy. Only God's approval ultimately matters.
3) What seems important now (what other people think of your performance /you) won't matter in the long term.
4) Realize that you only have to please one person and that is God.
5) Realize that one day you will give account of the life you lived on earth.
God won't ask if you pleased everyone but if you accomplished what you were sent here to do.
God won't ask if you pleased everyone but if you accomplished what you were sent here to do.
6) Realize that God shaped you to be you and not someone else.
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