Sunday 6 September 2020

Choosing A Life Partner Part 1-2 (MFM - Dr. DK Olukoya)




The next worst thing after hell fire is a bad marriage.

After your salvation experience, the next most important decision you'll make in life is the choice of a marriage partner as it can make or break your destiny.

Once you marry a deficit you are finished.

The most important thing a man looking for a wife should pray for is God's favour. 

Women are not to seek the man as this will open them up to be used as random samples by men which will devalue and cheapen them. Proverbs 18:22

Fifteen (15) Wrong Reasons To Get Married
-Lust
-Infatuation
-Liking the idea of getting married
-Fear of remaining unmarried
-Internal/external pressure
-Escaping from being jilted
-Getting married for money
-Using the marriage as an escape route from parents you don't like
-Marrying someone out of pity 
-Foolish expectations (e.g. Believing the person will change for better after marriage)
-Marrying for beauty or handsomeness
-Accidental pregnancy
-Tribal connection ("I must marry somebody from my town")
-Marrying to satisfy parents
-Marrying to hurt your parents

Reasons for getting married
-Companionship
-Procreation
-Fulfilling the agenda of God for your life

There are two types of husbands & wives - wicked ones & godly ones

Categories of Wicked Husbands
Hard husband: Unbending, unyielding & cannot be corrected.

Mini-husband: Performs well in bed and dining table but doesn't provide for the family.

Bachelor husband: Single-married man that is self-centred.

Acidic husband: Hot-tempered, abusive, violent.

Slave-master husband: Sees the woman as a cleaner, cook, and baby-making machine. Thinks women should be seen & not heard.

General husband: Has chains of girlfriends, concubines and strange women.

Dry husband: No closeness, love, romance or intimacy with the wife.

Panadol husband: Exploits wife to solve their own problem (borrowing money etc.). Use wife to secure benefits and once okay stop loving her.

Parasite husband: Will not work does practically nothing at home

Baby husbands: Infant men spiritually, mentally, and character-wise. Rejects food because he's angry, doesn't assist in domestic chores, doesn't apologize, cannot be influenced by wife, keeps malice with her, threatens to push out wife at the smallest provocation, compares wife with other women, doesn't do anything to improve his marriage, retaliates when wife errs, no one can know his whereabouts, pretends to love wife, doesn't pray with the family, reports wife to third parties, calls wife horrible names, loves mother more than the wife, doesn't trust or believe his wife is honest, is extremely critical, confides in parents more than the wife, threatens to react if there is no male child. Women can only donate the X chromosome but Y comes from man & XY produces boys. Destroys the wife's properties, asks for strange sexual positions against wife's wishes. Doesn't offer an apology, always leaves the family.

Types of Wicked Wives
Dictionary wife: Doesn't welcome other people's opinions. Once she feels she is right, that is it.

Boxing partner wife: No submission, contests for leadership. Sees the husband as a rival

Headmaster wife: Is richer than the husband by design but proud, arrogant and stubborn

Party Wife: Highly social, never at home but always at parties.

Pampered wife: Not used to anything remotely hard in life and acts fragile, expects level of treatment received in her father's house.

Dustbin wife: Extremely dirty and disorganized and so is her environment.

ADC (Aide-de-camp) wife: Has zero tolerance for any women close to their husband. He can't relate with other women at all under any circumstances. Police the husband like detectives.

Acidic wife: Always ready to fight, is abusive, moody, keeps malice, and has a sharp mouth

Office wife: Just pursues a career, everything else is secondary. Leaves management of the homefront to maids

Grandmother wife: Completely ancient in thought, outlook and behaviour. E.g. doesn't dress attractively for husband in the house.

Prayers
1). Where others are failing in good things I shall prosper in the name of Jesus

2). Every power assigned to waste my destiny, be wasted in the name of Jesus

Choosing A Life Partner Part 2
When you have this foundation knowledge you are more able to examine your heart and choose properly. If you are in a relationship and have not prayed, and God has not spoken to you, it is better to disengage. You can't find your correct partner outside God.

Sometimes what you want in a partner is not what you need and vice-versa.

Ten types of marriages
1) Neglected marriage - Partners have no time for each other and marriage decays

2) Actors & actresses - Pretend in public but fight seriously and regularly in private

3) Intruders marriage - Third-party friends, relations, strange woman or man has taken over.

4) Shallow marriage - Based on money, beauty, tradition, connection.

5) Broken marriage - Husband and wife live together but just do their own thing, living separate lives. Marriages of convenience. Sometimes noisy marriages are not good e.g. Princess Diana and Prince Charles.

6) Troubled marriage - financial trouble, inlaw trouble, problems all over the place.

7) Wrong marriage - based on lies and stealing

8) Inherited marriage - Inheriting dead people's wife's

9) Marriages with bad foundation -

A. Sex before marriage (You become spiritually blind regarding the person as heaven stops communicating regarding that relationship).

B. Marrying satanic agents (witches, people with familiar spirits)

C. Marriage due to accidental pregnancy

D. Marriage as a result of demonic consultation

E. Forced marriage

F. Arranged child marriages

G. Marriages based on physical attraction alone

H. Marriages that are polygamous in nature

I. Marriage based on trial and error

J. Marriages with a blood covenant done beforehand

K. Marriage based on demonic prophecies

10) Growing marriage - It is not perfect but it's growing. Both partners are committed to and growing in God and doing all kinds of things to make the marriage work.


Some statements about choosing your life partner
1). Marriage was created by God, therefore instructions for godly marriage must come from God.

2) Decision on marriage must not come from the flesh because it is a deceiver. The kind of man or woman your flesh wants may be wrong for you.

3) Marriage is not for boys and girls but men and women - Marriage is not something you should be talking about while in secondary school. 

4) Before thinking about marriage you must be physically, materially and spiritually mature. For a man that is from age 21, for women that is: age 18 in terms of physical maturity only. You may be physically mature but not materially mature. When you don't have a meal ticket in your hand, you should first of all secure one. 

Make sure you have something you can feed yourself with before you bring in a second mouth. There is no way a hungry man can feed a hungry wife.

That is why the marriage committee visits to see that you have your own accommodation before marriage (Rented or owned). 

Women should have something doing before going into marriage so they are not seen as liabilities by their husbands.

To be spiritually mature;
You need to get to a level where you know how to pray and hear God speak. If on the issue of hearing from God about marriage you do three days dry fast it's worth it. Do you know why? If there is trouble in the marriage you can go back to God and say Father you asked me to marry this person so help me.

You must get to a level where you can hear God speak audibly. Do not rely on dreams at all. If you are a prophet will you say? "Sorry let me sleep so that God can talk to me in my dream" Receive the baptism of the holy ghost. The day you begin to hear from God your progress begins. Don't rely on peace in your heart as there is something called evil peace.

5). It is an abomination for a believer to marry an unbeliever (2 Cor 6:14). You cannot marry someone with hopes of converting them to Christianity.

Note: Any man that is demanding sex before marriage is an unbeliever. He is not born again. Any woman that is asking to check whether you are impotent or not, through sex is not born again.

6) Destiny must come before partner. Discover your destiny before you begin to pay about a wife or husband. Purpose before partner. Find out what God created you to do as an assignment on earth before you pray about marriage if not you may marry a deficit to your destiny and will not be able to fulfill that destiny.

7) Marriage is a lifetime contract therefore, don't rush. Many have rushed inside and they rush out like fire. Therefore you must prepare. What you don't prepare for cannot give you the best. 

8) The devil battles against the establishment of Godly marriages. This is why praying about it is very important. The enemy doesn't want a good match but the wrong ones.

9) There are ancestral and demonic roadblocks to marriage. The person will not be able to identify the right choice but keep meeting wrong matches and unserious people.

10) It is dangerous to give your body to a man before you are married to him. Some sisters would have married easily if they had just retained their virginity. But once broken, the enemy just puts a material there.

Prayers
1) Every evil marital pattern in my family, die in the name of Jesus.

2) Enough is enough, I possess my possession by fire in the name of Jesus.

3) Every power assigned to waste my future, you are a liar, die in the name of Jesus

4) I fire back every arrow of failure in the name of Jesus

5). Every witchcraft agenda for my marriage die in the name of Jesus. Every evil magnet attracting the wrong people to me be broken in the name of Jesus

6). Your name) hear the word of the Lord, arise, shine in the name of Jesus.



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