You have to pray before you make a marital choice because you don't know what will happen ten years down the line as people do change.
The next worst thing after hell fire is a bad marriage.
-Only God can tell you who fits you and what kind of prayers to pray.
-Pray, plan, get to know each other, become prayer partners, plan your future together during courtship; NOT sex, kissing etc.
-Extended singleness is not good. Genesis 2:18
-Marriage choice is the second most important decision you make in life after salvation.
-The bible says in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 that two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labour...
Proverbs 18:22 You are not supposed to find a husband, but a man is supposed to find a wife. The choice of a life partner is the greatest test you will pass through it will affect every aspect of your life.
You don't have to ask every single question in the list below but some vital questions are amongst them which should be asked.
Questions to ask yourself and the person you want to enter a relationship with are;
- Where does he or she work or school?
- Do they have a similar background as mine?
- Where was this person raised?
- How long has this person been attending Church?
- Are their parents alive, married, divorced or widowed?
- How many brothers or sisters does he or she have?
- Do you find yourself apologizing for his or her misbehaviour in public?
- Does this person get along with others in their family?
- Does this person talk about their past relationships often?
- Is this person married, widowed, divorced or separated?
- Does this person have children outside and if yes, where are they now?
- How long have they been Christian?
- Do they have an active prayer life and Bible reading habits?
- Does this person do kind acts to others without being asked or expecting anything in return?
- Is this person conscious and responsible?
- Is this person optimistic or pessimistic?
- Does this person apologize for his or her mistakes easily?
- Does this person flirt with others or treat them with respect?
- Does this person have a criminal record?
- What are this person's friends like?
- Does this person spend wisely or borrow?
- Does this person boast about themselves often?
- Does this person have goals for his or her life?
- Does this person have regular premarital sex?
- What kind of temper does this person have?
- Does this person demand you change without wanting to change themselves?
- Have your parents or friends warned you about this person?
- Can this person be honest about his or her mistakes and work on them?
- Does this person live above his or her means?
- Is this person achievement-oriented?
- Does this person call you degrading names when talking to you?
- Is this person very possessive?
- When you say you're waiting until marriage for sex, does this person accept or reject you?
- Does this person have a history of mental health issues or addictions, depression, oppression and so on?
- Does this person have health problems including sexually transmitted infections?
- Is this person in a hurry to get married?
- What kind of spouse is this person looking for?
- Ask the person what their convictions are about the courtship.
- What is the person's view on family patterns, generational liabilities etc?
- What are this person's spiritual experiences?
- Does this person know what it means to fear God?
- Who are this person's role models and mentors?
- At what point will they consider divorce in marriage?
- What is this person's commitment to God?
- What is this person's taste/preference in movies, music and films?
- Does this person make excuses for strange untoward and unusual behaviour?
- Do their family members like being together or everybody is on their own?
- How does this person feel about his or her parents; is he or she always fighting, quarrelling with, abusing and insulting them when the bible says to honour your parents?
- What does this person do for a living and is he or she happy doing it?
- If the person is divorced, why did it take place?
- When this person makes promises does he or she always keep them?
- Is this person irritable, unforgiving, stubborn, and vengeful?
- If the house you both live in is very big, will they want to move extended family members in to live permanently with you?
- How does this person feel about his or her childhood?
- Does this person change jobs frequently?
- Does this person have a vital relationship with God or they're just saying religious things?
- Does this person laugh about other people's misfortune?
-Does this person make wise decisions?
-Does this person make choices based on what God wants or what he or she wants?
-Does this person have poor manners?
-What are the goals for the person's life and are they realistic?
-Is he or she making any steps to fulfilling these goals?
-Which area and type of accommodation will they want to settle down in, in marriage?
-How many kids will you like?
-Will you like us to save jointly or individually after getting married?
-Should we have a joint account?
-How much will you like us to save and invest monthly?
-Who will be your next of kin?
-Who will pay the bills in the house, will they be paid jointly or by one person?
-In this person's life, does every bad thing tend to be everyone's fault and they never take responsibility?
-Is this person always thinking and talking about sex constantly?
-Is this person honest about his or her own strengths, weaknesses and mistakes and willing to work on them?
-Does this person always request to know where you are all the time and is always tracking you?
-Does this person ask you to keep bad secrets about his or her addictions or actions?
-Is this person ever jealous of your time with friends and family?
-Does this person ever make insensitive or embarrassing comments about you?
-Is this person rebranding from any other relationship that is; are you being used as a medication for any bad relationship they had in the past?
-Will this person honestly stay or go if he or she marries you?
-Have you asked the person what their career goals are or what their purpose in life is and what inspires and motivates them?
-Have you asked them how they believe you will add value to their life?
-Have you asked them where they see themselves in the next five years?
-Has this person pressed or asked from God about this courtship or they just like you physically?
-Is this person born again, baptized, filled with the holy ghost with evidence of speaking in tongues?
-Between your parents and the Church, which is more important?
-Are you ready to wait till after marriage for sex?
-Have you had a divine encounter?
-What experiences have you had in the past that are memorable?
-Have they ever had any negative experience?
-Is there anybody you are accountable to?
-Do you have advisors or counsellors?
-How will we reconcile our differences in courtship and marriage? Are we always going to be rushing to third parties?
-Why are you convinced we should go into this relationship or courtship?
-There are so many people you could have chosen or agreed to marry; why me?
-Why are you attracted to me?
-When will you like to settle down?
-Do you have family financial goals?
-What are your personal financial goals?
Things to look out for in a potential partner when single;
1. The fear of God
2. Prayerfulness
3. Those who are deep into the word of God
4. Someone busy for God
5. Has genuine love
6. Someone, you can communicate with and share your dreams with
7. Someone that can be your friend, not your enemy
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